Mouthful

“Your girlfriend jumped into the harbor after you. Stripped down to her underwear.” Dr. Gagnon shook her head. “If police hadn’t been around the area, you both would have froze to death. Les jeunes d’aujourd’hui. . .”

Though she was much too young to utter such a line and in too respectable a station to freely offer unwanted social commentary to a patient, I addressed a more pressing concern. “Who’s this you’re talking about? I don’t have a girlfriend.”

She blinked. “Pardon?”